JUDGE! (Helping out)

There was tension in class today because of a discussion we had last Friday. A similar subject was brought up today on the BB (a message board I post at) and it got me into writing mood. About the world today, the people in it, helping others and stuff like that.

In class we have been having the problem that there are some people who feel the need to judge others. "Oooh! She says she's ill but I'm sure she's not!" That kind of stuff. Normally I wouldn't care about what one person thinks of another - it is none of my business - but if you are in a group of 11 people and a couple of them start spreading rumors like that or simply a negative attitude it really starts affecting the group as a whole. So we had this aforementioned discussion.

In the discussion on the BB some people thought it was funny to see someone missing a bus. I can understand that. But I have a slightly different perspective on that one, which ties in with the group discussion of last week. Here is the BB discussion:

ME: "It really pisses me off when I see someone running after a bus - they can almost touch it and knock - and that asshole of a bus driver feels the need to teach them a lesson. Ugh!

Or you run for the bus and it is about to drive off and you know the driver didn't see you but there is this person right in front of the bus waiting for another - and that person does NOTHING! And you arrive there just thinking "You really could have done something, bitch!"

I have been that person waaaay too many times."

HIM: "I hate it when strangers expect ME to make up for their lack of responsibility."

ME: "lol!

Wow. You really hit a soft spot there. We just had a discussion about a very similar thing in my class. About people judging other people and about riding on principles. Nothing personal, but this is what was said:

- Other's business is none of yours.
- Unless you have known someone for years and years and been really close to them you are in no position to judge them. And therefore shouldn't.
- You should not force your principles onto others.
- Don't always just assume the worst from other people. (In this case they might have a good reason for being late and really really need to get it urgently - random example: I have to get to an interview and my best friend calls audibly crying her eyes out.)

And more specifically - what do you lose if you gesture to the driver than someone else is coming? I do it and it makes me feel happy to see someone else happy because of it. But then again, I have been called "too social" so what do I know?"

HIM: "I'm not saying that I SHOULDN'T help you. It certainly would be a nice gesture, especially towards a stranger who is going to hop on a bus and will not be able to pay me back with sex. But you should not EXPECT me to do it and be mad at me if I don't. It's not my fault you're late for the bus. That's my point."

ME: "As the world is - I don't EXPECT you to do it.

Nevertheless, I do wish that it was natural for people to help each other out with little gestures like that. And those are the moments when I think to myself that the world would be a much better place if they did. Sounds a little melodramatic I know. Doesn't lessen my point though.

It actually happened a few times over here in Germany recently. I was late for the train (not my fault), I ran down the stairs while the doors were already closing. I shout "Someone hold the door open!" and someone did. I tell ya: I kept that positive energy for the rest of the day. It happened two or three times and I did the same for someone else without the person needing to shout for it, cause most people have a little more dignitiy than me. Or pride.

Bloody hell! I'm rambling!

I hope you get my point. Life can be so much nicer with a little more positivity. I am creeping myself out now. I don't normally babble about stuff like this.

PS: OH! And if I am mad because you didn't stop the bus for me then I am not mad at YOU personally, but more at the world as it is because after all you are a product of it. In a way. If you know what I mean. It is not the standard to help someone out like that so people don't.

THIRD PERSON: "I agree, I'd hold a bus for someone shouting and running, why not?"

ME: "The challenge is to do it even if they are NOT shouting or looking at you beggingly.

But in today's society that is a tough task indeed! For most at least."

There you go. My 2 cents for today.