The normal life

I always wanted something different for my life. Back in the days when I was still thinking about what kind of career I wanted to make I never knew what I wanted. But I knew I didn't ever want to do an office job. Maybe I could be an artist? Or a journalist? Well guess what!

I live the normal life. I get up in the morning, take a shower, have a quick breakfast while running for the bus that will get me to work. (not got a driving license yet.)
I have a 9to5 office job. It is a nice job as jobs go. But I will have to work unpaid overtime during the next two months or so and I hate the thought if it. In the evenings I leave work, generally with a headache which will go away within minutes of me getting home. Then I will start doing all the things I really enjoy:

Watch movies, work on my website, practice my anime drawing skills, write my fanfiction, paint scenes of LotR on my walls, chat to friends on forums and via MSN, record mini discs for my way to work, roleplay one day in the week, play board games on another, go to the cinema, meet my parents in a local pub from time to time, go into London for a night out, practice my Karate every day and I love yoga!

I am lying. I don't have time to do all these things. Maybe I will do all of them over a period of a few months. But I have never even tried yoga before, though I'd like to. Have you ever felt like there are just not enough days in the week? I am scared of living my life like this with hardly any time to do all the things I enjoy doing.

Back in January 2002 I was ready to change my life. I was ready to leave my office job and go back to college/university. I made the decision of becoming an actress. I had been toying with the idea for years and finally found the guts to say it out loud. I got as far as filling in an application form. All I needed to do was send it out and hope that I'd be good enough at the audition.

Then my Mum came up with the idea of helping me to buy a house. I had been living in shared houses until then and it seemed foolish to let such an opportunity go. That's it! It didn't seem wrong. It seemed foolish. I did what education and common sense told me to do. When it came to making a decision I made it with my mind, not my heart. Just writing these lines makes me angry.

So here I am sitting in my own little house leading the normal life. It's not all bad! As I said I love life with all it's ups and downs! But it doesn't change the fact that i wish it was more.

I recently took a week off work and I loved it. It made me realize what I was missing out on and it made me write these lines. I'd get up in the morning knowing that I could do whatever I wanted all day! Well, not *everything*. I can't afford that. That brings me to my next issue...

--> Money, money, money