The bike

So far all of my bicycles have been stolen. Admittedly I didn't lock them very often but hey! I was a teen at the time and didn't really see money as being something important. It was just a bike after all. But when my last bike - which I actually did care about - was stolen from the back of my (shared) house about two years ago I thought it just wasn't to be. I suppressed the fact that again I hadn't locked it but damn! it was in my back garden!

It's two years later (Jul03). I have grown up. I now know what it is like to not have much money to spare. I kept delaying it but in the end I did go and buy another bike. That was about three weeks ago. I realized that it was not a matter of fate that all my bikes had been stolen. It was simply the fact that I hadn't locked them! I am now more responsible with my belongings - especially the expensive ones. (I will let you know should this bike get stolen again - promise!)

Today I was riding along on a very quiet road (industrial estate on a Saturday afternoon) and started experimenting with the bike. Let one hand go, let the other go - just briefly. Suddenly I was reminded of times when I was around 15 years old.

I remembered this steep bumpy winding road which I used to cycle down on my way to school every morning. I remembered speeding it down free hand with my eyes closed just to freak out anyone who saw me. I also did it when noone was around to see me. I enjoyed it and I told myself that I knew every single bump and hole on the road. But of course I didn't.

Then I remembered how I speeded over roads knowing that I would definitely just miss the approaching car. I wasn't aware how dangerous my "driving" style was. It was just fun for me. It was my attempt at living my life to the fullest. Nothing ever happened to me. Not a single accident. I started to believe that I was protected in some way, that I was not supposed to die just yet. And even though one might assume that I suddenly went crazy and started doing stupid things (or just more of them) it actually had quite the opposite effect. I calmed down and suddenly felt like I had a responsibility. I don't know how to explain it any further but that's when I started believing that everything happens for a reason.

I guess I am just trying to say that there is a lesson in everything that happens. Trying to find it is the challenge and my responsibility. That's my way of living life to it's fullest.

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